(林恩·苏拉娅)
Loneliness has been a constant companion in my life. I laugh when I read the news articles which try to say that people with Asperger's syndrome "have no desire for human companionship". I can't speak for all - it may be true of some, but it has certainly not been true for me. It can feel like a curse - having the acute desire for human interaction, togetherness, but constantly struggling to make it happen.
一直以来，孤独都是我生活中一个如影随形的伙伴。每当读到一些新闻报道试图阐明亚斯伯格综合征 患者“没有和其他人打交道的欲望”时，我就会发笑。我不能代表所有人说话——这句话对有些患者来说可能是对的，但对我来说肯定不对。我觉得这句话更像是一个诅咒，因为我内心有着强烈的愿望，想和人们交往，想要和他们待在一起，可是要实现这样的愿望，我却需要不断付出努力。
The holiday season has always been especially difficult for me. There are many expectations created by the stories and depictions in the popular media of the "joyous" holiday season. For me, it's often been difficult to reconcile these expectations with my actual reality.
圣诞假期对我来说总是特别难熬。大众媒体总是通过各种故事与描绘大肆渲染圣诞节的喜庆，令人们产生许多期望。对我而言，往往很难将这诸多的期望与我的实际情况相协调。
This is the time for parties that you're not invited to. Or if you are invited - you feel like an outsider as everyone else mixes and mingles while you find yourself tongue-tied in a corner. It's a time for family celebrations,which don't measure up to the idealized "Currier and Ives " pictures people have in their minds.
圣诞假期是开派对的日子，可是却没有人邀请你参加。或者即使有人邀请了你，你也会觉得自己在派对上像一个局外人，因为其他所有人都成群结伴、有说有笑，而你却发现自己待在一个角落里，舌头打结，不知该和别人说些什么。圣诞还是一家人一起庆祝的时刻，但情形却未必和人们心目中“柯里尔和艾夫斯石版组画”所描述的理想化情景一样。
It's the time of year when you have to wrap your mind around how to maneuver your way around the social dilemmas that give even socially gifted people trouble.
每年的圣诞假期，是让那些即便在人际交往方面很有天分的人也会觉得麻烦不已的日子，因为你必须绞尽脑汁，琢磨使用何种策略来应对那些社会困境。
Through this holiday season, I've been thinking about this a lot. How many people are out there suffering because they feel that Christmas should be like the movies? Or because they feel even more acutely the desire to "fit in", and feel acutely their failure to do so? Or simply feel more alone when everyone is feeling togetherness, and you're at home alone....
这次圣诞假期，我一直都在思考这个问题。有多少人正在那里饱受煎熬，就因为他们觉得圣诞节就应该像电影里演的那样过？或者因为他们强烈地想要“融入”进去，同时又强烈地感到自己没能融进去？ 又或者是因为当每个人都和家人团聚时，你却独自一人在家，令你感觉更加形单影只……？
I was rooting around in some of my old papers this afternoon and I found a journal entry I wrote in my teens, which I think echoes what many people with Asperger's syndrome feel, perhaps more intensely this time of year.
今天下午，我在家里翻看一些以前写的文章，发现了一篇我十几岁时写的日记。我觉得那篇日记反映了许多亚斯伯格综合征 患者的感受，尤其是在每年的圣诞假期，这种感受也许更为强烈。
I get so very sad, yet no one around seems to understand. I really wish I had someone. The only way I have to explain it is through my writing or through my stories, and that is hard to express. I know anyone who has known me for any amount of time gets tired of my stories. I don't know. It's so lonely to spend my life jumping back and forth from here to there.
“我是如此忧伤，但是身边似乎没有人能理解。我真的希望有人能理解我。我只能通过我的文字或是我的故事表达心声，但想要表达清楚也并非易事。我知道，身边的每一个人，不论他们认识我多长时间，都已厌倦我的故事。我不知道还有谁会想听。将自己的人生耗费在进退维谷和左右踌躇之中，感到无比孤独。
I never have had a chance to have a normal life. Why do I have to be so different?
我从没有机会过正常的生活。为什么我得如此与众不同呢？
I spend all my life trying to find someone who will understand, but because of my life, I wind up having to give them a tutorial about how I act and why. I know it sounds pompous and stupid, but what else have I to do?
我这一生都试图想找到一个懂我的人，但因为我的生活如此特殊，最后我不得不给他们‘上上课’，给他们讲我的行为方式及其原因。我知道，这听起来显得有些自吹自擂、愚不可及，但除此之外我还能做些什么呢？
I find no one else like me in my life. I have nothing in common with anyone. I feel trapped in a world that judges me at every turn and yet never bothers to try to help or understand.
在我的生活中，我找不到另一个和我一样的人。我和其他人没有任何共同之处。我觉得自己被困在一个世界，那里的人对我的一举一动都指指点点，却从来都懒得想办法帮助我或理解我。
My whole life has been spending trying to figure other people out. I've always felt left out. I'm a watcher because that's all I really know how to be - all I really can be. People say I'm stuck-up and a snob . I don't like to think that I am.
#p#分页标题#e#
我的整个生活就耗费在努力揣测别人的想法上。我总觉得自己被这个世界遗弃了。我只能做一个旁观者，因为唯有这件事我才真正知道该怎么去做，也是我唯一真正能做的。别人说我自命清高、自以为是。我却不喜欢这么看自己。
I love people. I'd love to be with them, but my life is so different, my motivations so strange. I feel I have to compromise some of myself to get along with anyone else. So I am left with two options - to live always compromising parts of myself, never getting to be myself, or to live my life lonely and alone.
我爱身边的每一个人。我愿意跟他们待在一起，但是我的生活和他们的截然不同，我的这些想法自然也听起来匪夷所思。为了和别人相处，我感觉自己不得不牺牲一部分自我。这样我就只剩下两个选择：要么一直这样委曲求全，永远做不了真正的自己；要么就这样形单影只， 孤独地度过一生。
Even though I know I have gifts, there are times when I'd do anything to give up those gifts just I so can be a normal person. People tell me that they can't talk to me because it takes too much energy, but does that mean that I will be forced to spend the rest of my life being a hermit ? Will there ever be anyone who is willing to work to be with me? Will anyone climb the mountain?
即便我知道自己有天分，有时我也会不惜一切代价放弃这些天分，只为能够做一个正常人。人们跟我说，他们之所以不跟我说话，是因为跟我说话很费劲。但那是否意味着我下半辈子就要被迫做一名隐士？还会有人愿意花工夫和我相处吗？还会有人愿意来爬我这座山吗？”
Back when I wrote this, I had no idea why I was different. I just knew that I was. I thought I was alone in feeling this way. In the last five years, I've come to learn that I'm not. Through the miracle of the internet, I've learned that there are many more of you out there.
当年我写这篇日记的时候，还根本不知道自己为什么和别人不一样。我只知道自己和别人不同。那时我觉得自己是唯一一个有这种感受的人。在过去的五年间，我逐渐认识到我并不是。通过神奇的网 络，我知道了在这个世界上还有很多这样的人。
So, if anyone of you is feeling alone tonight, remember that perception isn't always reality. When I thought I was alone in the world, I wasn't. When I thought that no one else would ever understand or feel the way I did, I was wrong. It was just a question of finding the other people like me.
所以，今晚如果你们有谁感到孤独，请记住，感觉并不一定总是事实。我曾以为我在这个世界上很孤单，但我并不是。我曾以为永远不会有人理解我或和我有相同的感受，但我想错了。在那时，问题只不过在于我能不能找到其他那些和我一样的人而已。
The idealized depictions of Christmas aren't the reality for most, if not all, so don't think that you're the oddball because your holiday is different. We all have our disappointments in life - but we can find our way. We can find our own crowd, and our own way of celebrating - that's fine.
就算不是对所有人，那也是对大多数人来说，那些关于圣诞节的理想化的描述也都不是事实，所以即使你的节日过得和别人不一样，也不要觉得自己就是那个异类。谁的人生都难免遇到不如意的事，但我们能找到自己的路。我们可以找到自己所属的群体，找到我们自己的庆祝方式，这样就好。
And even if you have to celebrate alone, that's OK. Love yourself enough to know that a celebration alone can be just as valuable as one with others - it's all in how you handle it. If living with Asperger's teaches us anything, it teaches us how to live with ourselves. For some of us, our only friends are ourselves. You can focus on being alone, or you can make the most of what you do have - you.
即使你必须一个人过节，那也没什么。如果你很爱自己，你就会知道，一个人过节和与他人一起过节是同等重要的，关键在于你怎么处理这件事。如果说亚斯伯格综合征教会了我们什么，那就是让我们懂得了如何与自己共处。对于我们有些人来说，我们唯一的朋友就是自己。你可以深陷孤独而难以自拔，也可以充分挖掘你所拥有的东西——你自己。
You can go out and watch people. You can stay home and watch Star Trek. You can write, or listen to music that makes you happy. Or you can find a small, trusted group - that understand you and overlook your eccentricities .
你可以走出家门，去观察身边的人。你可以待在家里，看看《星际迷航》这部电影。你可以写点文章，或者听听能让自己开心的音乐。或者你也可以找一小群你信任的朋友——他们理解你，不会对你一些奇怪的行为大惊小怪。
In any event, the holidays don't have to be sad. Don't be lonely. There are others of us out there. There are others who understand. If you're lonely, my thoughts and prayers are with you, as are the thoughts and prayers of many others out there. You are not alone.
无论如何，我们的节日不必过得如此忧伤。别那么孤独。世上还有很多像我们这样的人。世上还有其他人理解我们。如果你感到孤独，我的心灵会贴近你，我的祈祷会陪伴你，这么做的不止我一人， 这世界上还有许多人也会像我一样。你并不是一个人。
我爱范文 » 害怕交际的人: 充分挖掘自己 就不会感到孤独
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